China Adoption, Chinese Infant Adoption

06/15/07

Who looks Chinese?

Posted by : grant in China Adoption Blog at 10:09 am , 348 words, 188 views
Categories: Family Life, The Race Thing

I wasn't actually present during the following vignette, but I got to hear about it afterward. Backstory: Daughter knows she came from China. She knows we went to China to pick up her brother, she knows there are Chinese things in the house and that sometimes (although not terribly recently) we've gone out for Chinese food. We go other places to eat and have plenty of things from Florida/South Africa/Germany/Mexico/India/the Caribbean in the house, but still - she knows Chinese things. She can find China on a map. She may (possibly) even have memories of China.

Which is why the following scene is interesting....

BLACK

CAPTION: This is a dramatic recreation of an actual event.
Although the people involved are actors, the situations are real.

INTERIOR - GROCERY STORE - MIDDAY

SPONSOR

DAUGHTER, age 4, is perched inside a shopping cart as MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE, age undisclosed, wheels her past the automatic door.

DAUGHTER
(in mid-conversation)
...and then we can get stuff to make cookies! And fruit roll-ups!
Mama, I looove going to the store. Can we buy the stuff?

MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE
Yes, honey. If you sit down nicely.

DAUGHTER
And we can go into the store and then make some foodies because
we like to make the foodies and can I call Nai-nai? Mama, can I?
When we get to the house about making the cookies!

A young boy looks pointedly at Daughter as he walks out toward the parking lot.

YOUNG BOY
Chi-NESE!

Daughter suddenly stops her chatter.

DAUGHTER
(frowning)
Mama? Why did that boy say, "Chinese"?

MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE
Um, well, probably because you are Chinese.

DAUGHTER
But how did he know that?

MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE
Well....

DAUGHTER
I don't know him! I didn't tell him I was Chinese! How did he know!

MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE
Well, you look Chinese.

DAUGHTER
(completely shocked)
I do??

My Adjective Spouse, speechless, shrugs and searches for words.

MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE
Yes. Um.

DAUGHTER
(indignant)
Well, he still didn’t have to say it!

MY ADJECTIVE SPOUSE
You're right. You're absolutely right.

BLACK

ROLL CREDITS

6 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: annesibbien [Member]

Hello,

I saw the picture of (youre?)beautifull chinese daughter.
She looks a lot like our daughter from China.
She is from Hubei.

Greetings,

Sibbien Holwerda, the Netherlands.

Permalink 06/15/07 @ 13:50

Comment from: lishoprah [Member]

What a coincidence! We went to a new grocery store yesterday and for the first time in 3 1/2 years of Maya being home from Liberia we had a kid make a comment about her (she is almost 6). The boy was about 3 years old and said "look, momma, look at the girl, black girl." I guess it's more surprising that this is the first time.

Melissa

Permalink 06/15/07 @ 14:19

Comment from: Tara [Member]

I think that story is awesome!! I have to comment because it reminds me of an interesting conversation I had with my 6 year old son. Now bear in mind that (right now) our family is very Caucasian. They had been learning about the history of slavery at school and my son came home and said "Mama are we black or white?" He really didn't know, or understand what that meant. So clique, but out of the mouths of babes!
Cheers, Tara.

Permalink 06/15/07 @ 15:11

Comment from: John [Member]

Grant, what a great story. It might be a good idea not to have your spouse read the post, 'My Adjective Spouse' may not fly. You are brave. John

Permalink 06/15/07 @ 15:39

Comment from: Sandra Hanks Benoiton [Member]

· http://international.adoptionblogs.com/

We get that all the time here. Because race isn't a loaded issue in Seychelles, people constantly use physical attributes to describe themselves or others. The question, 'What color is he?' is de rigeueur in identifying individuals. People will usually point to their arms in answer, then make comparisons ... he's a darker/lighter/ same than me. Phrases like "You know him! He's that Indian-looking guy with the Black girlfriend that lives ..." are spoken without a shred of anything negative.
That said, my son already reacts to descriptions of him as "Chinese" with the correction, "No, I'm Cambodian" and wonders why the error is so often made.
In this African country, all South Asians are Indian and all East Asians are Chinese.

Permalink 06/15/07 @ 21:46

Comment from: grant [Member]

· http://china.adoptionblogs.com/

Sandra: Heheheh - in the African country my parents came from, Chinese people were "Coloured" and Japanese and Taiwanese were "Honorary Whites." Which is a whole *other* level of racial identification. There wasn't much pointing at arms, but quite a bit of pointing at papers.

John: My spouse is *very* adjective. But you're right - sometimes she verbs me adverbly right in the noun!

Sibbien: Yep, that's our girl. She's from Chongqing Municipal District, between Sichuan and Henan. And Hubei, I suppose -- our son's county is not far from Hubei, but Daughter is from Fuling, which is near the center of the district.

Tara: That's one of those questions for which a complete, truthful answer would be terribly, terribly confusing.

Melissa: I hope Maya took it in stride.

Permalink 06/16/07 @ 19:16

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