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One of the things about parenting that I find interesting – I was just talking about this with a friend yesterday, in fact – is the way milestones work. It seems like parents-by-adoption are a little more obsessed over developmental hurdles, and for good reason – institutional infancy has a way of interfering with development in lots of little ways. For example, when we met Daughter, she was just turning 1 and had yet to learn to crawl. She could roll around and grasp things, but she’d never had enough time just lying on the floor to get the hang of moving from point A to point B. Now she’s a ballerina.
That’s the interesting thing, to me. Both those common metaphors – milestones and hurdles – describe singular events. It’s not like there’s a gradual slope upward on the road of maturation. There’s a series of these big, sudden changes – a digital process, not an analog one. A switch is flipped, and then – bang! – not a baby, but a toddler. (This is not unlike the process of adoption itself, actually, in which you wait and wait and then – bang! – there’s a photo in the mail, and then – bang! – you’re far from home being a parent to strange new creature.)
Which is all by way of introducing the fact that son (son!) has spent the last week talking. I’m not sure if he’d be officially considered “delayed” any more, so we’re looking for other things to worry about at night. For him, this is a great new game. You point to a thing (or, more often, a picture of a thing – I’m sure a Lacanian would have something to say about that). You name the thing. You make a big smile. Parents squeal ecstatically. Then you do it again.
The two words (or, um, images) he seems most enthusiastic about are “truck” and “flower” (which he pronounces “shloweh”). He’ll point to a truck, or a picture of a truck, and say, “truck.” And we squeal ecstatically. Can’t help ourselves.
He’s also asking what things are called by pointing and saying, “Da!”
What’s even more pleasing is that this breakthrough seems to have pleased him on some fundamental level as well. His frustration levels have dropped and small things make him laugh.
It feels good to clear a hurdle. Now, let’s see what the next one will be.
As an adoptive Mommie who thought she had fretting down to an art, I must comment on the “talking thing.” Our little Ella only had a few spoken words until she was 23 months; she LOVED sign language and used well over 100 signs. She was far more advanced than me since she paid attention to the sign videos!
Every spoken word that comes out of her mouth almost makes me cry (a little emotional do ya think??); and like you I will soon be fretting about something else.
I’m very happy that your little guy is chatting.
Lisa (Guatemala blogger)
Hi, I read your blog and I can’t wait to adopt my own Chinese baby girl. I will have to find a domestic adoption program here as China’s regulations are to high. Enjoy your little one!!!
Our daughter Song came to the US at the age of 22 months. One of the interesting consequences of this has been her tendency to watch body language quite closely in order to interpret others (She is now 5-1/2). For example, she has been taking dance and gymnastics lessons for about 2-1/2 years, and I notice that she watches the instructor intently rather than listening to verbal instruction. It’s clear to me that this arises from her early inability to understand English and her need to find other ways to understand. Her English is quite good now and improving fast, but we’ve held her out of Kindergarten for a year in the hope that this would compensate for somewhat lagging language skills.