INT. GRANT'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

GRANT and GRANT'S ADJECTIVE SPOUSE are sleeping peacefully in the moonlit room. A clock on the end table reads 3:35.

SFX: Ringing telephone.

After several agonizing seconds, Grant's hand shoots out from under the covers and yanks the receiver to his ear.

GRANT

(mumbles an incoherent greeting)

MEG

Grant! Grant! I'm so glad I caught you at home.

GRANT

What? Who is this?

MEG

It's me. Meg. Anyway, it's about Daisy.

GRANT

(slowly sitting up in bed)

Who?

MEG

It's MEG, silly. Remember? The airplane? Chicken or beef?

GRANT

Yeah, I remember, but who's Daisy?

MEG

Oh, right. Charlotte. She's Daisy now.

GRANT

Oh, OK.

BEAT

GRANT (CONT'D)

So how's she doing?

MEG

She's really cute. I mean, super cute. She's been sleeping for four hours and I just sat here and stared at her cute.

GRANT

Yes?

MEG

People keep coming up to me and telling me how cute she is. Like, at the grocery store. They don't even know who I am, and...

GRANT

Everybody knows who you are.

MEG

No, really, they don't even look at me! I could be, I don't know, Arnold Schwarzenegger and they wouldn't know the difference!

GRANT

Yeah, that happens. Babies are cute. Toddlers are even cuter.

MEG

So, you don't think it's... weird?

GRANT

No, I don't think it's weird.

MEG

You don't think it's just because she's... you know.

GRANT

No, it's not. She's just cute.

MEG

Are you sure? Do you promise? People aren't just that way because...

GRANT

Yes, I promise. All toddlers are cute. Now go to sleep.

MEG

You're right. I should just...
(she yawns loudly)
It's late. Good night, Grant. Talk to you later.

GRANT

Good night.

Grant, pinching the bridge of his nose, hangs up the phone and slumps under the covers. We stay on a bird's-eye view of the bed for a beat.

GRANT'S ADJECTIVE SPOUSE

(without moving)
That better not have been that tramp Angelina.

FADE