I actually have a great amount of respect for Angelina Jolie, mainly for the United Nations work (although there's a lot to be said about that barely noticeable asymmetry to her eyes that give her that kind of Ellen Barkin maddening allure, at least from where this speaker does his saying), but have serious reservations about the "Angelina Jolie" machine -- the combined P.R./entertainment/ gossip/icon-forging factory that makes up the public persona.

Mostly because of headlines like these:

How to Shop for Kids the Brangelina Way
Angelina's "looking at different countries" to find another child to adopt. We weigh some likely possibilities.

The information following this is useful, if you're into the statistics of the thing, but the whole article revolves around the single "joke" that there's an economy of adoption. That in some ways, it's a business. And the article extends that observation into a full-fledged Beverly Hills boutique metaphor.

Like so:

Now that Cambodia and Ethiopia are, you know, so yesterday, where might the next Jolie-Pitt adoptee be? Some likely possibilities:

CHINA
This country is like a machine — an adorable, adoptable-children machine. More than 7,900 rugrats adopted last year came from China. If Jolie seeks her next child in this country, she'll most likely get a girl; only 5% of available children are boys.

Estimated total cost: $20,000 to $25,000

Upside: Babies! Squadrons and squadrons of little babies!

Downside: Only a limited number of singles may adopt. (The exception: special-needs kids.) And when Jolie isn't growing her family, she's busy denying marriage rumors. Also, Jolie would have to go through an agency approved by the Chinese; no private adoptions permitted. That could mean less discretion than the publicity-picky star might like.

Likelihood: Low. Jolie already has two girls. Add a third, and that makes for a perilously outnumbered Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt. Jolie says she wants "balance," which probably means a boy, and China isn't the most logical place to find one.

To which I say HA! on your logic, and couching the info in terms like "machine" and "squadron" are really not helpful at all, major metropolitan media source!

Covers all the major countries-of-origin, and really none of the ethical complexities or social issues. As satire, it'd be masterful. But the problem is I don't think it is.

I frown westward tonight.