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One of the things I liked about the whole Chinese adoption process was that you have to go to China. I like being involved with China, because that’s where a good fraction of my family (now) is from.
But, really, when you’re actually doing it, if you’re a vaguely shy, awkward, quiet guy like me, it’s like being hit with a cultural sledgehammer again and again in the face — “OH SWEET LORD THERE’S CROWDS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ALL STARING RIGHT AT ME AND I BETTER EXPLAIN BUT WHAT DID THAT GUY SAY AND HE’S POINTING AND THAT OLD LADY IS GETTING RIGHT UP TO MY FACE AND GAAAAHHHH!”
Some of the adoptive parents we traveled with just sort of hid in the hotel where they could freak out in private and eat McDonald’s (egg drop soup at the Chinese McD’s!), but that’s just lame uh, kind of a lost opportunity to learn something about, hey, where does this tiny creature come from?
Mandarin, they say, is really hard. But there are just a couple simple words that make life a whole lot easier.
Here they are. I’ve stuck pinyin first, but if you’re new to Mandarin, just focus on the pronunciation part.
Shih (sure, spoken a little like Janice, the female muppet in the Muppet Show’s Electric Mayhem band.) — You are, I am, we are, it is. It also means “yes” a lot of the time.
Zai nar (tsai narr? or tsai nar!) — Where? Or, over there! This is one of the few phrases that, thanks to the *tones* in Mandarin, actually is a question when you make it sound like a question, and a statement when you make it sound like a statement. Zai jar (tsai char!) means “right here.” The first Mandarin I actually spoke in China was to a fruit vendor in the Guangzhou airport, pointing to my gate number on my ticket and saying “Zai nar?” It worked! He pointed! Victory!
Xi shou jian (she show jen. No fancy tones.) — Bathroom (or head, john, water closet or loo, depending on where you’re from or what branch of the service you’re in). Combined with the previous phrase, you get the vitally important, “She show jen, tsai nar?” If you’re new to parenthood, you have no idea how vital this phrase can be.
Wo (whoa. Like, “Dude. That’s heavy. Whoa.”) — Me. “Mine” is “wo-de” pronounced whoah-duh?
Ni (knee?) — You. “Knee-duh?” is “yours.”
Ni hao (knee? hoooow? as if you’re being slightly skeptical about that knee). — Hello. Literally “you well.”
Ta (ta, said kind of high, like you’re saying goodbye to someone in the distance who can’t really hear you.) — He, she or it. “Ta sure” is “He/she is”….
Xiao (She-ow) — Little.
Erzi (Are!-tzuh) — Son.
Nuer (N’you? Are!) — Daughter.
Yang (Young! said exuberantly and exultantly.) — Adopted. Thus, “Ta sure whoa-duh young! n’you? are!” is the very useful, “She’s my adopted daughter.”
Bao bao (bow, bow) — Baby (or “sweetie”).
Bu ku (boo koo, or if you prefer, beaucoup) — Don’t cry!
Bu hao (boo hooow?) — Not well, or that’s bad!
Bu yao (boo yow) — Don’t want, no thanks, stop trying to sell that to me, buddy. (And wo yao is “I’d like”).
Dui bu qi (doy boo chee or even doy b’chee) — Excuse me. Pardon. Hate to impose, but….
Once you’ve got these down, you can make your way into and out of most situations.
If you want to learn a few more phrases, check out Western Kentucky University’s “Survival Chinese for Parenting”. They have audio files for pronunciation and everything.
