This waffle iron obviously needs pumpkin, five- spice powder & orange zest before it can lead a meaningful existence.

Today, we had a perfect storm in the kitchen. I stumbled in this morning after a late night rocking a hungry toddler and a small girl with a bad toothache (praying it's not an abscess, since she just got a cap over a bad cavity -- we're telling ourselves it was because she spent her first year in an SWI, and not because we're lax about toothbrushing, because you know that first year of nutrition is vital for healthy baby teeth, and yadda yadda this way we can live with ourselves) to find a calabasa with a Post-It on it saying, "GRANT: This is your culinary challenge."

So, for the perfect storm, there's our low pressure zone -- a calabasa. (It wound up in our kitchen because we subscribe to a farm and never know what produce we're getting week to week.) At the same time, we had a front moving in from the southwest in the form of a recent infatuation with five-spice powder, and a strong northeast wind cutting across the Panhandle in the form of a really great cookbook we got from the library. "Gulf Coast" cooking as a category includes everything from Cajun & Tex-Mex to Vietnamese, Caribbean & Soul Food, and thus totally ROCKS. On page 276 there's a recipe for Pumpkin-Chipotle Waffles. Well, we had this big [expletive deleted] pumpkin-a-like, we don't have chipotle powder, but we've got the five spices.

Ah.

So here, more or less, is the recipe I wound up making. It ruled our kitchen with fists of iron. Lots of labor carving the calabasa, and we still have far more calabasa in the freezer than I know what to do with (and five-spice roasted pumpkin seeds), but man, if need be, I could eat these waffles every day. It also gave me a chance to break out My Illustrious Spouse's rusty old heirloom cleaver so I could COOK LIKE A MAN. With loud noises and risk of bodily injury. It's about as Chinese as chop suey, but definitely has a flavor that's familiar to anyone who ate out at something besides Pizza Hut in central China. (Not Chinese-American, but American-Chinese, and thus thematically appropriate, yeah? Well, it tastes good, anyway.)

Also, I'm lazy and used a premade waffle/pancake mix instead of the egg, baking powder, baking soda, salt & flour. Same diff, I figure. Here's the story:

3 Tbs buttah.
1/2 C pecans, chopped.

3/4 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs

2 Tbs yellow cornmeal
1 tsp five-spice powder
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (or maybe more, depending on how wild you live)
3 Tbs brown sugar
Grated zest of 1 orange (this is totally essential to the flavor)

1/2 cup mushed up pumpkin (or calabasa!)
1/3 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup milk
Splash of water (just enough to make the consistency a little thicker than perfect pancake batter)

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ALL INGREDIENTS TWEAKED TO TASTE -- EXPERIMENTATION SETS YOUR KITCHEN FREE
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OK, put buttah and pecans in pan. Medium heat. Cook 'em good, but don't let buttah get brown. Set aside once good.

Mix powdered stuff & spices in a bowl. Mix eggs up separately, then add 'em (unless you're a heathen like me using an eggless mix instead of honest-to-god flour and baking soda). Slop in the pumpkin, mix a little more, then add the dairy stuff -- milk, cream and pecans-in-buttah (which should be cool, but not solidified by now). Splash in some water to get the consistency just right. It's ok if it's a little lumpy, but make sure all big dry chunks are broken up. VERY IMPORTANT! DO NOT OVER-STIR YOUR BATTER! The tiny lumps give LIFE to waffles. Without them, they become crunchy grids of starch and misery.

Heat up the waffle iron, and put between 1/3 cup and 1/2 cup of batter on for each waffle.

Serve with Florida honey (Palmetto! Super light!) if you're way cool, or maple syrup if it just seems wrong not to have that. Butter or whipped cream really not necessary, but if you're totally into the cows, then go for it.

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If you make this like I did, you'll also be frantically microwaving bowls of chopped calabasa (about 8 minutes per pound, cut into 1-inch cubes, splash of water in each bowl to steam 'em nicely), mashing them when done or putting back for 2 more minutes when not, and running water through a colander loaded with pulp and seeds to clean the stringy stuff away from the seeds, then scattering de-slimed seed on baking rack with a small pinch of salt and large pinch of five-spice powder scattered over, stuck in preheated oven at 350 for around 25 minutes, checked on/stirred, then stuck back in oven with door closed but heat off for the rest of the morning. When removed, perfectly tasty snacks.

But not nearly as amazing as the waffles. Creamy, rich things. Sweet. Fructifying. A breakfast of OPTIMISM. A breakfast of Sichuan spices and Belgian pastry. A breakfast of A WHOLE NEW SUNDAY.