To the Officials of the People’s Republic of China
If you have ever adopted a child from China, you know that you have to write a letter of application to the officials of the People's Republic of China. It must include the gender and age of the child you are requesting and several statements of promise (i.e. you promise to love the child, follow through with all post-adoption reports, etc). As I sat down to write ours, I was at a loss. After many rough drafts and several unkind words to my husband, I finally finished it. I am posting it here in case, you too, get stuck and need a little help to write yours.
To the Officials of the People's Republic of China:
Hi! We are Ben and Julie H. We have… [more]
How to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle” in Mandarin.
You like singing, don't you? I do. It's part of why children are fun. You get to sing without feeling all self-conscious about it.
Here's a song you know, although you might not recognize it at first - this is how you sing it in Mandarin. With your kids, if they'll settle down long enough to do it!
...One by one, glittering bright,
Yi shan yi shan, liang jing jing,
'EE shan EE shan, lee-ang jing jing (the "jing" is said almost like "cheeung" only very quickly at the back of the throat.)
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...all the sky is filled with little stars.
man tian dou shi xiao xing… [more]
How to foster attachment. Also, human trafficking and journalists.
Things I've been reading worth passing along:
* How to foster attachment.
This is a page of great suggestions, one of many pages on a site filled with great suggestions. I'm not so sure about the business with singing goofy songs, but I have recollections of playing the Cheerio-passing Cereal Kisses game and it working on her.
Reader, she married me, and then we decided to have some kids via adoption.
No, seriously - skin contact + eye contact + fun with food is a good thing. The Mirror Images one (like mimes pretending to be each other's reflection) and the Blinking game (where you, like, blink at each other) I also… [more]
How to coddle your baby in Chinese.
Traditional Manchu papercuts
So, you're stuck with this strange, bawling, squalling, puling creature in a hotel room in a country where they don't even use an alphabet to spell the words you wouldn't be able to understand anyway even if you could read them. All you want to do is make this infant feel even remotely more comfortable. The baby has never heard "Hush, Little Baby" and saying, "There, there," doesn't seem to mean anything. So what can you say? Here are a few Mandarin phrases that babies might know. Depending on where you've adopted from, pronunciations will vary (and orphanage workers might not even speak Mandarin). But it's a starting point… [more]How to paperchase: I600 & I600A fees going up.
Quick note to prospective parents (and some folks "enjoying" the long wait times): the fees for filling out I600 & I600A forms are going up. You can read the new fee schedule on this pdf from our beloved Homeland Security office.
I read about this in a discussion on the forums.adoption.com message board, which may carry on to include more detail as time goes by. The person making the post there says waiting parents who've already completed an I600 can get one (1) free renewal, which, given the current wait time, will probably be necessary.
But if… [more]
How to pass your post-placement with flying colors.
So, yesterday we just had our post-placement. This is the last of our home studies, when a social worker (other than the one to whom I am married) comes and evaluates your family to make sure you're all, like, not going to toss a baby in the crock pot for dinner or something.
(We have been tempted.)
The post-placement gets done at the end of everything, a year after the bundle of joy is plopped in your arms at the Social Welfare Institute or Civil Affairs Office or hotel conference room or wherever and you're wondering, "Is this it? When does the magic happen?" and somehow over the next 12 months it does. But you still have to prove… [more]
How to order a drink in China.
Chinese - or, I should say, Mandarin, the official spoken language of China*, has a bad rap as being a Very Difficult Language. I'm not sure this is entirely deserved - after all, more human beings speak it than any other language, and people are more or less the same wherever you go.
It's actually quite simple for most English-speakers to get a few sentences of Mandarin together - enough to a/impress people that you're trying, and b/ maintain a little bit of sanity during what can be a brain-shattering experience (by which I mean immersion in Chinese society as much as the process of… [more]
How to support adoption with your wallet. Or pocketbook.
"lingyang"="adopt"
My fellow Floridian Dave Thomas seemed like an interesting guy, as far as CEOs of fast-food giants go (no, not this Floridian Dave Thomas, but the one with the daughter named Wendy). His was the first burger joint to offer a salad bar. And he was the founder of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. You may have read about the foundation over on my Russian Adoption colleague's blog. You may also have hit that "Hey, does my company give me family leave for an adoption?" wall in the past (or be heading toward it at a high rate of speed right now). Would you like to be able to ask for some benefits?… [more]How to make a sling. And why.
One of the Big Things about adoption - especially with kids from Social Welfare Institutes in China - is the need to promote attachment. They call it "bonding," which has a nice, solid construction/oath-taking sound to it. And one of the best ways to do this is to leave behind the bulky old stroller and tote a new tot around in a sling.
Bonding, you see, is fun. Slings are a great invention, because they let you hug little children for long periods of time while still leaving your arms free to do things like eat, sign paperwork, walk the dogs and wash the dishes.
Adoption.com just loves
How to paperchase: What’s an I-171H? And when do I get mine?
The Been-There-Done-That families are no doubt happily forgetting about all the paperwork that goes into the wacky process of adopting from China -- especially the paperwork you have to wait for from the US government. (That's assuming some of the people reading this are Americans and not our noble friends to the north or those... Europeans, who have arcane bureaucracies of their own.) Some have suggested renaming this the WOO! BABY!" form, which would be easier to remember, if nothing else.
The I-171H is the form you get from the Department of Homeland Security - specifically the CIS, or Citizenship and Immigration Services - after filling out the I600-A, the petition to adopt a foreign orphan. Would-be parents fill that petition in, then… [more]
